Literary Reflections - How To Date A Brown Girl

This essay is a reflection of How To Date A Brown Girl (black girl, white girl, or halfie), a work of fiction written by Junot Diaz in 1995. I analyze how learned stereotypes in adolesence can heavily influence romantic behaviours.

Junot Diaz paints the most realistic depiction of adolescence with his story, "How to Date a Brown Girl" because he allows the audience to connect their own experiences of stereotypes, cultural belonging, and first impressions by using elements of fiction.

People's interpretation of their adolescence is different, but fundamentally, the reoccurring themes presented by Diaz can be in some ways very universal. Stereotypes are imposed on everyone at around the same age of adolescence. Diaz uses stereotypes to manifest how suffocating it feels to be judged by strangers, some of whom have incredible influence in your romatic future, based on trivialities like skin color. Dating someone with varied cultural backgrounds will also be commented on, more specifically dealing self identity.

Self worth and self esteem share a place in the story as well; Diaz illustrates the importance of first impressions extremely well in ways that still ring true decades after this fiction was written. Specific passages in the story will be used to directly connect the realism of adolescence, followed by analysis.

Yunior, the main character of the story, really leans on stereotypes as a basic guideline when informing the audience about dating certain girls.

Diaz alludes that Yunior, being the victim of ethnicity stereotypes himself, has in turn used them to make judgements of the girls he goes on dates with and his expectations. Yunior's biases are more evident when he talks about white girls specifically. "If she's a whitegirl you'll know you'll at least get a handjob." White girls are typically, in the context of this story, are seen to have very protective parents and strict upbringing. Yunior is under the impression that out of every ethnicity, in terms of having success sexually, a white girl is the best bet.

In Yunior's eyes, being white is also being privileged. "The white ones are usually the ones you want the most, aren't they." People, myself included, have some point in their lives used, heard, or experienced stereotypes. Being Dominican, Yunior is very much aware of cultural impact in his neighborhood and with the girls he dates.

Throughout the story, Diaz shows how much cultural belonging impacts not only Yunior, but the girl he ends up choosing to spend time with. Yunior's family and customs stem from a very rural but impoverished background, which he chooses to hide from potential dates. "Take down any embarrassing photos of your family in then go campo, especially the one with the half naked kids dragging a goat on a rope leash."

We all carefully pick and choose what parts we wish to expose about our past and culture to our lovers, which makes Diaz's story all the more realistic. The girl Yunior chooses to date also struggles with her own cultural identity. "Black people treat me real bad. That's why I don't like them." She is a halfie in the story, which means she is half Latin and half African American. Even though she is black, it's difficult to feel bonded with others who share her cultural background.

With 2013 census data, we are seeing more and more mixed race couples, making this hardship of cultural identity very relevant and poignant. Caring about what people think of you and how you are perceived by society writ large directly ties to Diaz's story and for Yunior.

Growing up, everyone becomes initiated into the concept of exposing very little of who you are to people for fear of what they might think of you. Yunior is very self aware of his family's social economic status. "Clear the government cheese from the refrigerator." His family are not the most well off and have turn to the government for assistance. It can be embarrassing to explain to someone you plan on dating. It takes time to be comfortable enough to expose those aspects of yourself.

Yunior also knows that for most girls, dating someone white is preferable than dating a dark skinned Dominican kid. "Run a hand through your hair like the white-boys do even though the only thing that runs through your hair is Africa."

When forced to meet the mother of his girlfriend, Yunior wants to imitate what he thinks the mom wants to see in him given her own stereotypes. He's very well informed about what he wants to portray and what he doesn't. In real life, meeting the parents of a significant other is very stressful and a significant milestone in relationships. You care deeply about their opinions of you as a person.

Picking this story to showcase realism presents a plethora of examples that are universal to everybody's experiences. At one point, stereotypes are introduced into people's lives either from family, friends, pop culture, or from other spheres of influence. There will be conflicting areas where our culture melds with the way we see the world. You also never get a second chance to make a first impression.

We all care about how others see us and thus we strive to present the best version of ourselves. This is all shown through the adolescent lens of Yunior. Junot Diaz seamlessly sets the stage for a realistic portrayal of first impressions, stereotypes, and cultural belonging.